Saturday, March 31, 2012

Why Did I Wait?

I'm really enjoying "running".  I put it in quotations because I'm moving only slightly faster than walking.  I just really like it.  Why did I wait so long?  I used to always joke that I didn't run unless I was being chased by someone with a knife.  I don't know what I thought it would be like.  Maybe it's the way I'm starting in 60 second intervals, but I am really liking it and find myself wanting to do more.

The whole thing makes me seek further introspection.  I mean, was I saying things like that because I don't really like myself and didn't think I COULD do something like this?  I'm pretty self-deprecating on a regular basis, using comedy as a coping skill, but really-- what was I waiting for?  I feel like I CAN do anything right now.

Of course... maybe that's the endorphins talking.  Hell of a drug, a brain can be.

Terrific Twos

When I was pregnant, I always dreaded/looked forward to the scale.  I had MANY appointments because of my weight and because of PCOS, which lead to insulin dependent gestational diabetes.  I was severely limiting my carbs and LOST 30 lbs while I was carrying Margot.  During that time, carbs were not an option.  I just didn't eat them very much at all.  It wasn't that hard, really.  I remember having lunch with my dad one day and talking about how it really wasn't that difficult.  He's type 1 diabetic and also struggles with the same affliction: love of carbs and couches.  :)  Anyway, I remember the day I called Jesse and yelled, "222!"  I was so excited that my weight was all "2"s and that Margot was still healthy.

I know that no one should ever be excited when there is a "2" in front of their weight, but I'm down to 222.2 today!  That means I lost almost 4 lbs this week and it wasn't hard at all!  I'm hoping the rainy-ness goes away so that I can take Margot out for a walk/jog.  I *think* I started this thing at 227... so really, it's only 5lbs and almost 4 of that in just this week.

Just goes to show what paying attention to eating and a little jogging can do!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

New-to-Us Stroller

Jesse, Margot and I just got back from our first walk with the new-to-us stroller.  I was really nervous because Margot has historically hated being in the stroller.  Tonight she screamed for a minute, but settled as soon as we strapped her in and gave her some Cherrios and milk.  :)  Jesse and I took a nice walk, probably about 25 minutes, and talked and enjoyed each other.

Thank you Ann from CL for a great deal!

Today I did not eat breakfast.  Boo.  Then I had an early lunch with Jesse at a Vietnamese restaurant and I feel like ass so we has pizza for dinner.  To be fair, I did look up which delivery place was the "healthiest" and ordered light cheese and light sauce.

Back on the wagon in the morning.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Couch to 5K

I decided today was the day.  


This is big for me because I've never, ever, ever run voluntarily before.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that the last time I remember running anywhere was to catch a bus in London.  That was 2003.  I did the first day of the Couch to 5K training thing and it was easy.  I mean I didn't even break a sweat because it was breezy out.  But really, it was not hard.  It makes me feel better about myself that I wasn't passing out like those folks on biggest loser on their first day.  Of course, I'm not being trained by Bob and Jillian either.  In any case, as soon as I got home, after chatting with my old lady neighbor for a few, I was motivated.  I cleaned out the garbage can (like, with the hose--- soooo gross), then filled it back up with broken branches from our yard.  I then took the hose and cleaned out Margot's kiddie pool.  I came inside and made a to-do list which included random errands, buying used sleepers for Margot, buying a used stroller for Margot and then letting her play in the play area in the mall.  She actually rode in the new-to-us stroller without screaming.  Win!

I also ate very little today.  Breakfast sandwich, Thai noodle lunch, lots of water, tuna for dinner and two sugar free Popsicles.  I think the key for me is being busy, but planning to eat.  If I get bored, I eat.  If I get too busy, I starve then binge.  It's a balancing act, I guess.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

A New Day

Last night Jesse texted me and asked if I wanted ice cream and I said, "No."  It's a baby step and I'm proud of it.

This morning, I weighed in.  Ate breakfast and had some water.  I'm selling a bunch of stuff today and putting that money toward joining a gym.  I don't know which one, but I need somewhere else to go.  When I am home, I yield to what Margot and Jesse need.  It's what moms are supposed to do, but I've got to make my health a priority.

I'm just lucky enough to have a wonderfully supportive husband.  <3

Friday, March 23, 2012

Bad Days Turn Into Bad Weeks

I think I said before that I'm participating in a biggest loser style thing online, but this will be the second week that I'm in last place, for sure.  I keep taking things day by day, but then the bad days turn into bad weeks and months and then it's been almost two years of really, really hard stuff going on.  How come I was able to eat well when I was pregnant and now I can't seem to get it together?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Shitty

For real.

Just shitty.

Need a pick-me-up that doesn't involve rocky or road.

Friday, March 16, 2012

How do you love veggies?

I believe the people who say that the secret to health lies in veggies.  I know they are right but I just won't eat them.  I KNOW it has to do with the fact that I was raised with very few on the table, but I am an adult and should be able to change my eating patterns, right?  This dawned on me yesterday when I had a very low moment and got a sandwich at Wendy's.  I ordered a chicken club WITHOUT lettuce and tomato.  That's how I always order stuff.  I remove everything that isn't meat, cheese or sauce-- all of which are terrible for health, not to mention terrible for fatties!

How do you learn to love veggies?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Failure... sort of.

I picked up the new juicer yesterday and today I am going to use it.  I'm looking up recipes, but I have to make a confession.  I had McDonald's today.  What I DID do, however, was order a bottle of water and a cheeseburger.  No fries, no soda.

Baby steps.

This was one of my "on-the-go" meals when I was pregnant, because I was avoiding carbs.  The bun of the burger is better than having fries.  It's allllll about choices.  ;)

Monday, March 12, 2012

Inspired by my fellow Richmond Mommies, I'm dusting off this old nickname.  Booty-do is back.  And hopefully going away for good this time.  I started a Biggest Loser style competition yesterday.  I swore off smoking, drinking and food... well chewing.  I was supposed to start a juice fast, but we can't find the integral part of the juicer-- the blade.  Tomorrow I am buying a Jack LaLanne juicer from someone a Ft Lee.  In honor of the death of our current juicer we had pizza for dinner last night and Chinese for dinner tonight.



Jesse has actually been upset because he has gained back a few pounds and his new jeans don't fit right anymore.  He really liked doing wight-watchers, but now that I've been laid off and have limited income, we can't afford for him to rejoin.  I was really hoping there was a couples fee, but only solos.

Last night we both took "before" pictures.  We both looked at ourselves and nearly wretched, but looking at each other we were happy.  I look at Jesse and I see a lovable bear-man whose weight means little to me.  He says that when we met he was 50 lbs lighter and hat he only ate oatmeal.  Maybe that's a good weight loss secret!  Anyway, tomorrow is a new day.