Sunday, September 23, 2012

Week 1

Successes: I lost some mass.  I stopped McDonald's for good.

Failures:  I didn't run.  I drank A LOT.  I had an emotional breakdown.

Today I watched a movie recommended to me by my doctor called The Secret.  The overall message is a good one, but the production is reminiscent of A Case for Christ.  That's bad.  Now I'm stuck on Netflix stuff on happiness documentaries.

I've also been listening to books on Buddhism.  I'm into it.  Taking responsibility for myself and my thoughts and emotions.  Working on it.

Monday, September 17, 2012

It Starts, Again

I got up at 5am.

I ran 2 miles.

I ate eggs for breakfast.

I'm going to shower and go to a job interview.

I WILL GET HIRED.

I'm then going grocery shopping.

I will not freak out about my missing wallet.

I will not lament my life choices today.


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

New-ish

I'm raw and vulnerable tonight.  I'm ready for a change, but don't know what it is.  I feel completely out of control.  Maybe this is how Christians fee when they "let God take over."  All I know is that right now, I can control one thing: my body.  I was pigging out all the last two weeks and I feel so gross.  Tomorrow, I'm focusing on a healthy me.  I can do it.  Focus on me, Margot and Jesse.  That's all that matters right now.  The rest can wait.

Question:  Has anyone had success with meditation in any form?

Monday, September 3, 2012

Cruel Summer

During the weight loss competition, I lost 26lbs officially.  That was 12 weeks.  Since then, I've lost only 3 lbs.  Really?  Come on, self!  I'm not sure why I hit the brakes, but I'm going to be moderating this next competition, so hopefully I'll be able to kick some butt again this fall.

I'm in a super weird place right now.  I'm a very optimistic person.  I had complete faith that I'd have a job by now.  I was POSITIVE it would be in a school.  Not only am I not in a school, I'm nowhere.  I joke that this fall I'll be running my hustle by subbing, working at Sycamore Rouge and teaching with Drama Kids, but it's hard to work so hard when I could be chillin' on unemployment.  The whole thing is a trap.

During an interview this week, the woman I was interviewing with turned out to be the grandmother of one of my favorite students.  She asked me why I left, because it was clear that I loved it.  It was the first time anyone told me that it was clear that I loved anything.  The problem right now is that I can't find a teaching job-- anywhere.  I've tried.  I applied for every opening, then emailed every principal in the surrounding counties to let them know that I'm available.  Nothin.  So... I applied to grad school and I'm looking at a Masters in Special Education.  I'm really into it and now it's just a waiting game.  When does one stop waiting and start just living?