Rehearsal

*Note-- this was supposed to be posted in September-- but it still holds.

Yet another downfall to my weight loss is rehearsal. I am an actor and stage manager, so I'm at rehearsal every night. Now, if I was a responsible person, I would pack my dinner every night and NOT snack on the abundance of good junk at rehearsal.

One of the girls is a manager at the Regal cinema in town. She brought in a giant bag of popcorn... you know the yummy delicious kind that you can only get at a cinema? Well... you know. Also the director and I are soul mates, therefore everything she brings in, I love. Like candy corn. Candy corn always makes me sick, but I eat it anyway. Responsible, I know.

Also, the assistant director is also a kindred spirit, so she in turn brings goodies like white cheddar cheetos, sugarwafer cookies.

I gorge. I have no self control-- except yesterday and today. See post below.

On Your Feet, Soldier!

One of my number one issues with exercise is that I'm on my damn feet all day at work. If standing and walking around my room all day burned calories, I'd be a rail. When I do finally get home, I just want to sit on my couch and play with my cats. And although studies have shown that petting your animals relieves stress, it does very little in the way of burning fat.



Not to mention that my job is pretty emotionally stressful as well. I'm worn out at the end of a day, whether it was a good day or not. I have a hard time being a teacher who doesn't commit both physically and emotionally. This includes my raging temper for the unfair. But I shant go in that direction.



So-- what's the solution? Go right from work to the gym? Be more emotionally and physically absent at work? Quit and be an actor full-time? Le sigh.

Whining About PCOS

You know how I like to whine about things not being my fault... well. I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. There are all kinds of annoying symptoms like skintags, insulin resistance (eventually causing diabetes), and bearded lady-ism. But the worst of all is the difficulty losing weight. This is brough on my the IR, I think. Lemme esplain:

1. Booty-do eats too much.

2. BD's body responds by pumping out insulin.

3. But... because BD's body is slightly resistant to insulin, blood sugar spikes and the body pumps out more insulin.

4. Insulin finally gets hold of the food, but because there's so much extra, it goes into over drive.

5. The extra insulin that's not attacking the food gets stored as fat in the body. (Did you know that? How is THAT fair!!)

6. The overdrive has also caused the blood sugar to drop back down really quickly, making BD think she's going to pass out and die if she doesn't eat A LOT of sugar ASAP.

Now most of the time I can make myself think, "Ok, you know what's going on in your body. Have a glucose tablet and wait it out." But other times, I eat everything in sight until I feel safe again. If you've never had low sugar, it's very hard to explain. The worst I've ever experienced was after my birthday last year. I didn't eat very much that night, but I drank a lot of liquor. Mmm... long island ice tea. I went home very drunk and cuddled my hubby into a nice sweet drunk sleep. I woke up about 2 hours later and I thought I was dying. I mean, I could barely walk, I was having a hard time breathing and I was crawling to the bathroom, thinking I was just drunk sick. But... I didn't puke. I just sat there trying to breath and moaning that I was dying. My beloved husband, having been through a sugar low of mine before found me a donut stick and a peach. It took about 10 minutes, but slowly I could feel my drunkenness returning.

I used to not eat breakfast because of the very steps above. I would eat and be so hungry only an hour or two later that I would be so annoyed. So if I don't eat in the morning, I can go all day without food. Now-- healthy people would say that's because my body is in "starvation mode" which only makes it horde the food that much more when I do eat.

Can't a bitch catch a damn break?!

The Mail Room

Here's a problem that all teachers who are working on their weight have to deal with:

The Mail Room.

You may be saying, "Mail makes you fat?" No, it's not the mail. It's the leftovers from every single event that end up there. The counters are currently covered with goodies from the meals last week. And it's never the nutritious stuff left over. Only the muffins, and cookies, and that amazing ginger bread/cake our office assistant makes. Oh gees... I'm like Pavlov's dog over here...

In any case, when you're a half-broke teacher, you want to take advantage of anything free, like food. My tuna can stay in the fridge for lunch tomorrow and I can pig out on pizza that the PTA brought it and save a few bucks.

It's also a matter of not wanting to hurt someone's feelings. Example: I don't really like this caramel cake that the same aforementioned office assistant makes, but I eat a piece every time. She's wonderful and I want her to feel appreciated, especially when she spends hours making home-made goodies for we ungrateful lot.

Fee Night was especially bad. Vocelli's pizza AND punchbowl cake. I kid you not when I say that I could have eaten the entire punchbowl. I did only have 1 serving the first night... but then the second night... I lost my control. Two helpings went down the hatch.

I'm surprised my Wii Fit Balance Board isn't yelling at me.